Nothing calms me down like kicking back and sipping a well-aged 401k.
The world where cruel deeds are to be repaid with suffering seems to be entirely amiss as John lands several great job interviews and constantly high fives friends in public.
Perhaps the change will invigorate other departments to scrap their old and tired methods for something more engaging.
There’s always a bright side to the temperature beginning to drop: Everyone will finally be able to use it as a collective talking point in forced conversation.
"My wife and I ended up at a Denny's in Carthage, Tennessee. We must've taken a wrong turn somewhere because we were very, very lost," said one Trump fan in a phone interview.
The list is self-explanatory.