Nothing calms me down like kicking back and sipping a well-aged 401k.
The world where cruel deeds are to be repaid with suffering seems to be entirely amiss as John lands several great job interviews and constantly high fives friends in public.
Perhaps the change will invigorate other departments to scrap their old and tired methods for something more engaging.
There’s always a bright side to the temperature beginning to drop: Everyone will finally be able to use it as a collective talking point in forced conversation.
"My wife and I ended up at a Denny's in Carthage, Tennessee. We must've taken a wrong turn somewhere because we were very, very lost," said one Trump fan in a phone interview.
The list is self-explanatory.
My single-person team took first place in a game of Scattergories among an entire living room full of players.
It’s been reported that Baldwin has recently been approached by people who think he’s the real Trump.
Premiering December 10 at 11:30 p.m. is ABC’s newest reality series, “The Secretary,” featuring President-elect Donald Trump heading back to TV as he courts his future secretary of state.
“I was really upset at the election results and was even planning to set fire to some buildings in protest,” one student said. “But when I tasted the eggnog latte, I felt calm.”
Upon seeing the food trucks in the parking lot, the man let out an audible “Oooooh” despite his family’s apathy.
It’s been a long time coming, but the superhuman cloning factory that operates next to sorority row will be shut down due to budget concerns. The smokestack towering over the train track has become iconic and is always a subject of inquiry for campus visitors. Surprisingly, many students are…
Here are some great ideas for costumes that will let people know you didn’t try.
It was a situation that everyone’s found themselves in once or twice before: sitting patiently in front of a statue, waiting for it to transform into a sentient creature when the clock strikes midnight.
An otherwise dull class period was subject to a rather exciting event yesterday.
It started as an idea for a fun-filled night from the university, but went completely haywire Monday night as students violently opposed “Clowns After Dark”: an event that looked to bring playful clowns to areas across campus.
While the man went on to tell us several other things during the interview, we didn’t pay attention to what he was talking about. But man, was that dog adorable!
Yesterday, Harrisonburg police took every single Marching Royal Duke into custody after they violated a new, citywide ordinance by playing their instruments loudly.
There’s always a rush between semesters of people selling their clickers, but perhaps there’s another option for you.
JACards are JMU students’ lifeblood as they’re necessary for completing most daily tasks on campus, so losing it is a major inconvenience.
While these criminals who live among us try to destroy the fabric of our sustainable community, the JMU police are finally beginning to crack down on this issue.
Walking up to the Commons, students are now instantly met with a sobering sight. Where the illustrious Gibbons Hall once stood, there’s now a void, as if the building that was so integral to that area suddenly vanished. All that remains is a contained wasteland of rubble atop a concrete foun…
The trip took an unexpected turn during Christmas dinner when Trump proceeded to fire the Pope from his position as Bishop of Rome.
“I’m in charge now,” Trump said in a news conference earlier today. “I have elected myself a member of Congress for each and every one of these 50 United States.”
Just a week after losing the race for presidency, Republican candidate Donald Trump has taken matters into his own hands. He’s purchased an island off the southern coast of Florida and named it Trumptopia.
This time, I’m going to stand up for a proud facet of American glory that, for once, needs help defending itself. I’m speaking, of course, of the bastion of independence, the arsenal of democracy: The American military.
So build your “best wall,” Trump, but don’t take too long. We’ve got another 10,000 miles to go.
“I have decided to start wearing a mustache,” Clinton confidently told the captivated press, donning a light blue pantsuit and her now-signature handlebar mustache.
The price tag for VOSS, $2.50, is certainly nothing to scoff at, but that’s what enforces it as a status symbol.
In yet another instance of the mainstream media upholding the integrity of pure and compelling journalism, Fox News has recently launched “TrumpTV,” a 24-hour news channel dedicated to covering every minute and — if we’re lucky — perhaps every insignificant detail of Donald Trump’s 2016 race for the GOP nomination.
America, it’s time that we sat down and had a heart-to-heart. Yes, those of you who think with your hearts, this talk’s for you. I’ll deal with you logic-lovers and head-users later.
Not many seniors can say that they have even an idea of what they’re doing upon exiting school, let alone a plan in place.
The Muppets look to add a quirky element to the terrifying world of alcohol in a way that makes the program both more engaging and memorable.
If tuition could be raised and lowered based on the quantity of animal killings on campus then I’m sure we would see a lot fewer squirrels running around, but that’s simply not the case.
A preacher standing outside Carrier Library has made the inaccurate claim that the “Ghostbusters” sequel was better than the original “Ghostbusters.”
The bell inside the cupola perched atop Wilson Hall is an iconic symbol of JMU’s campus.
It seems the days of casually throwing a candy wrapper on the floor are over, at least for now.
Being too sick to meet with a group of people treads the line of courteous toward others’ health and just pure laziness.
It’s unclear whether UREC thinks we are all somehow geniuses or possess superhuman cognitive abilities.
Apparently, you don’t need any sort of degree or certification to know everything there is to know about sociology.
If you’re looking to strengthen your inner chef, try out some of these quick and easy meal options.
A traditional practice for any new building is assigning it a name, which at JMU has often paid tribute to past notable figures of the campus.
Record snowfall besieged Harrisonburg Friday into Saturday, with amounts upward of 24 inches.
As the polar icecaps melt and the Earth’s climate slowly becomes unsuitable for human life, we’ll likely still have emails from JMU until the very end.
No one seems to understand the sanctity of standing in the area right in front of the door, where moving out of the way for exiting passengers is a recipe for chaos.
JMU police have finally decided to make some much-needed upgrades to their policing arsenal.
The age-old competition between Carrier and Rose libraries is starting to get out of hand.
1. Stare at the big screen in Grafton-Stovall Theatre